My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess; second, don't drink - to excess; third, don't marry - to excess.

Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense.

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly ofthe storm of thought that is forever flowing through one's head.

What's your name?" "Becky Thatcher. What's yours? Oh, I know. It's Thomas Sawyer." "That's the name they lick me by. I'm Tom when I'm good. You call me Tom, will you?" "Yes

Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.

When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.