That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.

If I were required to guess off-hand, and without collusion with higher minds, what is the bottom cause of the amazing material and intellectual advancement of the last fifty years, I should guess that it was the modern-born and previously non-existent disposition on the part of men to believe that a new idea can have value.

No sane man can be happy, for to him life is real, and he sees what a fearful thing it is.