Imagination labors best in distant fields.

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.

We have the best government that money can buy.

...one of the first achievements of the legislature was to institute a ten-thousand-dollar agricultural fair to show off forty dollars' worth of pumpkins in - however, the Territorial legislature was usually spoken of as the "asylum".

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.