Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness; but we can try.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.

Compliments make me vain: & when I am vain, I am insolent & overbearing. It is a pity, too, because I love compliments. I love them even when they are not so. My child, I can live on a good compliment two weeks with nothing else to eat.

...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'

I was born lazy. I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the limit forty years ago. You can't go beyond possibility.