Note that venerable proverb: Children and fools always speak the truth. The deduction is plain: adults and wise persons never speak it.

Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.

We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove. We have two opinions: one private, which we are afraid to express; and another one - the one we use - which we force ourselves to wear to please Mrs. Grundy, until habit makes us comfortable in it, and the custom of defending it presently makes us love it, adore it, and forget how pitifully we came by it. Look at it in politics.

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

Irrevence is another person's disrespect to your god; there isn't any word that tells what your disrespect to his god is.

If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it will take me two weeks to prepare.

Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.