If horses knew their strength we should not ride anymore.

You don't know about me, without you have read a book by the name of 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,' but that ain't no matter. That book was made by a Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly.

Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

A proud man is one who waits for a vacancy in the Trinity.

The person who has no opinion will seldom be wrong.

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.