The first half of my life I went to school, the second half of my life I got an education.
Mark Twainisn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.
Mark TwainI have traveled more than anyone else, and I have noticed that even the angels speak English with an accent.
Mark TwainNext you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and come down-you don't hear nothing; you see the ax go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk!-it had took all that time to come over the water.
Mark Twain