Missionarying was a better thing in those days than it is in ours. All you had to do was to cure the head savage´s sick daughter by a miracle- a miracle like the miracle of Lourdes in our day, for instance- and immediately that head savage was your convert, and filled to the eyes with a new convert´s enthusiasm. You could sit down and make yourself easy now. He would take the ax and convert the rest of the nation himself.

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.

Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot; and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879

Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.