Missionarying was a better thing in those days than it is in ours. All you had to do was to cure the head savage´s sick daughter by a miracle- a miracle like the miracle of Lourdes in our day, for instance- and immediately that head savage was your convert, and filled to the eyes with a new convert´s enthusiasm. You could sit down and make yourself easy now. He would take the ax and convert the rest of the nation himself.

It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.

All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.

Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.

Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.

The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.

One must travel, to learn.