The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so.

I think the Cincinnati Enquirer must be edited by children.

Man is the only religious animal. In the Holy task of smoothing his brother's path to the happiness of heaven, he has turned the globe into a graveyard.

We adore titles and heredities in our hearts and ridicule them with our mouths. This is our democratic privilege.

It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.

It takes some little time to accept and realize the fact that while you have been growing old, your friends have not been standing still, in that matter.

As by the fires of experience, so by commission of crime you learn real morals. Commit all crimes, familiarize yourself with all sins, take them in rotation (there are only two or three thousand of them), stick to it, commit two or three every day, and by and by you will be proof against them. When you are through you will be proof against all sins and morally perfect. You will be vaccinated against every possible commission of them. This is the only way.