Man is the only religious animal. In the Holy task of smoothing his brother's path to the happiness of heaven, he has turned the globe into a graveyard.

If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.

The history of our race, and each individual’s experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.

Human pride is not worthwhile; there is always something lying in wait to take the wind out of it.

The lightning there is peculiar; it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.

If you should rear a duck in the heart of the Sahara, no doubt it would swim if you brought it to the Nile.

Honesty is often the best policy, but sometimes the appearance of it is worth six of it.