The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass. If the case be otherwise, I beg his pardon and extend to him the cordial hand of fellowship and call him brother.

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.

The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.

It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.

It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have been better for us-oh infinitely better for us-if the serpent had been forbidden

Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch it.

I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.