The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass. If the case be otherwise, I beg his pardon and extend to him the cordial hand of fellowship and call him brother.

If all men were rich, all men would be poor.

I don't want no better book than what your face is.

France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.

They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.

Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience.

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.