Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity; but bet on the other one -- this is business.

Happiness ain't a thing in itself - it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant.

There are only two forces that can carry light to all the corners of the globe... the sun in the heavens and the Associated Press down here.

Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him.

I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.

We had an abundance of mangoes, papaias and bananas here, but the pride of the islands, the most delicious fruit known to men, cherimoya, was not in season. It has a soft pulp, like a pawpaw, and is eaten with a spoon.

College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.