The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.

All religions issue bibles again Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.

If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!

You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.