Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.

Everything human is pathetic

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.

History has tried hard to teach us that we can't have good government under politicians. Now, to go and stick one at the very head of the government couldn't be wise.

You may say organize, organize, organize; but there may be so much organization that it will interfere with the work to be done.

No throne exists that has a right to exist, and no symbol of it, flying from any flagstaff, is righteously entitled to wear any device but the skull and crossbones of that kindred industry which differs from royalty only businesswise-merely as retail differs from wholesale.

A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.