Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.

I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don't know. I've not yet made any acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the Deity. I'm not in any hurry.

The most successful people are those who do all year long what they would otherwise do on their summer vacation.

The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.

An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.

The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.

In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.