It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.

The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.

Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.

I have spent most of my time worrying about things that have never happened. Worrying is not an action! In fact, it is action that alleviates concern and dissipates worries. Take more actions when you feel that worry is creeping in to steal your time. It need not be a huge action, any action in the direction you want to go will do.

There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.

Conformity—the natural instinct to passively yield to that vague something recognized as authority.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.