When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.

Public opinion is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

You have heretofore found out, by my teachings, that man is a fool; you are now aware that woman is a damned fool.

Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death!

Nations do not think, they only feel. They get their feelings at second hand through their temperaments, not their brains. A nation can be brought -- by force of circumstances, not argument -- to reconcile itself to any kind of government or religion that can be devised; in time it will fit itself to the required conditions; later it will prefer them and will fiercely fight for them.

....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.

... the English alphabet is pure insanity..., It can hardly spell any word in the language with any degree of certainty.