Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Few of us stand prosperity; another man's I mean.

When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.

It is discouraging to try to penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.

When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.