But they (the infantry) had no use for boys of twelve and thirteen, and before I had a chance in another war, the desire to kill people to whom I had not been introduced had passed away.

Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.

I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than Ulysses S Grant in full military regalia.

I don't believe any of you have ever read Paradise Lost, and you don't want to. That's something that you just want to take on trust. It's a classic ... something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.

When someone dies, it is like when your house burns down; it isn't for years that you realize the full extent of your loss.

By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfect man.