If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.
Mark TwainThe Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
Mark TwainIs it, perhaps, possible that there are two kinds of Civilization-one for home consumption and one for the heathen market?
Mark TwainThe air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be?--it is the same the angels breathe.
Mark TwainThe pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
Mark Twain