All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.

Prohibition only drives drunkenness behind doors and into dark places, and does not cure it or even diminish it.

The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories— and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures.

One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her.

If all men were rich, all men would be poor.

The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.

Humor is man's greatest blessing.