That which was hard to endure is sweet to remember.

I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.

The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time.

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

If the Christians of America could be persuaded to vote God and a clean ticket, it would bring about a moral revolution that would be incalculably beneficent. It would save the country.