Whatever thing men call great, look for it in Joan of Arc, and there you will find it.

My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its office-holders.

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.

Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot; and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879

Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.

Priapism is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia.

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.