...many foolish persons, wanderers from other parts, have the vain fashion of graving their names and the obscure places whence they come, upon its stones, which is silly and marketh the doer for a fool.

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.

If true, rarely beautiful. If beautiful, rarely true.

Do something everyday that you don't want to do.

The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like everything.

Do one thing every day you don't want to do.