...many foolish persons, wanderers from other parts, have the vain fashion of graving their names and the obscure places whence they come, upon its stones, which is silly and marketh the doer for a fool.

It is an important thing, in our never-ending pursuit of happiness, to stop and just be happy for a while.

I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is "hogwash"

Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.

France has usually been governed by prostitutes

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.