We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.

We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie; we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity.

The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.

One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

The old saw says - 'Let a sleeping dog lie.' Experience knows better; experience says, If you want to convince do it yourself.

A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.