School gets in the way of my learning.

If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.

Our consciences take no notice of pain inflicted on others until it reaches a point where it gives pain to us.

I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is "hogwash"

Probably there is an imperceptible touch of something permanent that one feels instinctively to adhere to true humour, whereas wit may be the mere conversational shooting up of "smartness"--a bright feather, to be blown into space the second after it is launched...Wit seems to be counted a very poor relation to Humour....Humour is never artificial.

The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.

I admire him, I frankly confess it; and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.