You have heretofore found out, by my teachings, that man is a fool; you are now aware that woman is a damned fool.

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

The history of our race, and each individual’s experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.

Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death!

You can't reason someone out of something that they weren't reasoned into in the first place.

The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty

Kindness is a language herd by deaf men and felt by blind men.