You have heretofore found out, by my teachings, that man is a fool; you are now aware that woman is a damned fool.

Conformity—the natural instinct to passively yield to that vague something recognized as authority.

December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.

Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

When one has tasted watermelons, one knows what angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because she repented.

It has been reported that I was seriously ill--it was another man; dying--it was another man; dead--the other man again...As far as I can see, nothing remains to be reported, except that I have become a foreigner. When you hear it, don't you believe it. And don't take the trouble to deny it. Merely just raise the American flag on our house in Hartford and let it talk.