If there wasn't anything to find out, it would be dull. Even trying to find out and not finding out is just as interesting as trying to find out and finding out; and I don't know but more so.

Inherited ideas are a curious thing, and interesting to observe and examine.

But that's always the way; it don't make no difference whether you do right or wrong, a person's conscience ain't got no sense, and just goes for him anyway. If I had a yaller dog that didn't know no more than a person's conscience does I would pison him. It takes up more room than all the rest of a person's insides, and yet ain't no good, nohow.

Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.

After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.

I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.

If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'