Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.

Love your enemy, it will scare the hell out of them.

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.