....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.

Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters; the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell, together, as quickly as possible.

And always we had wars, and more wars, and still other wars - all over Europe, all over the world. "Sometimes in the private interest of royal families," Satan said, "sometimes to crush a weak nation; but never a war started by the aggressor for any clean purpose - there is no such war in the history of the race."

Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience; multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.