Always obey your parents. When they are present. This is the best policy in the long run. Because if you don't, they will make you. Most parents think they know better than you do, and you can generally make more by humoring that superstition than you can by acting on your own better judgment.

Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

Recipe for a long life: Only smoke while awake. Only run when being chased.

It is our nature to conform; it is a force which not many can successfully resist. What is its seat? The inborn requirement of self-approval.

It is not a new thing for a thoroughly good and well-meaning preacher´s soft heart to run away with his soft head.

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's.