A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

Nothing is made in vain, but the fly came near it.

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

In religion, India is the only millionaire... the One land that all men desire to see, and having seen once, by even a glimpse, would not give that glimpse for all the shows of all the rest of the globe combined.

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

It is an important thing, in our never-ending pursuit of happiness, to stop and just be happy for a while.