A country without a patent office and good patent laws is just a crab, and can't travel any way but sideways and backways.

Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.

You are about as happy as you make up your mind to be.

I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.

Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly ofthe storm of thought that is forever flowing through one's head.

And always we had wars, and more wars, and still other wars - all over Europe, all over the world. "Sometimes in the private interest of royal families," Satan said, "sometimes to crush a weak nation; but never a war started by the aggressor for any clean purpose - there is no such war in the history of the race."

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.