If all men were rich, all men would be poor.

English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.

Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.

Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake; he wanted it because it was forbidden.

A country without a patent office and good patent laws is just a crab, and can't travel any way but sideways and backways.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.