Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics.

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.

When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.

The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.

If there wasn't anything to find out, it would be dull. Even trying to find out and not finding out is just as interesting as trying to find out and finding out; and I don't know but more so.

What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.