Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.

All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.

We were good boys, good Presbyterian boys, and loyal and all that; anyway, we were good Presbyterian boys when the weather was doubtful; when it was fair, we did wander a little from the fold.

Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant.

You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.

The citizen who sees his society's democratic clothes being worn out and does not cry it out, is not a patriot, but a traitor.