The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.

You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks - in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present; you should have recognized them earlier.

Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.

Experience, the only logic sure to convince a diseased imagination and restore it to rugged health.

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.

It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the burden

Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.