I remember the time I said, 'I don't think you love yourself. You need to learn to love yourself.'
Mary GaitskillDani said this woman, with whom sheโd lived for two years, had never known her. โI feel like people accept the first thing I show them,โ she said, โand thatโs all I ever am to them.
Mary GaitskillI think a woman who commits adultery, is not sympathetic in our culture - or in many cultures, let's face it.
Mary GaitskillSexuality is a place where people are very vulnerable and can be experiencing and embodying very raw forces that they don't really understand and there's a question of how much you should control and how much you should play with those and what those forces really are, how you really feel about them. That's perennial.
Mary GaitskillThe best definition I've heard is that guilt is about what you've done, shame is about who you are. If something's out of my control, I don't feel shame about it, because what could I have done? If you're guilty, you can at least try to atone for it or make it better or not do it again. If it's who you are, you can't do much about it except change yourself, and that's pretty hard.
Mary Gaitskill