Baseball has a special place in our hearts. It is the game that shows us as we would like to be.

[On Senator Everett Dirksen:] His great enemy was boredom and he won every engagement.

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become.

Appliances have idiosyncracies, just like us. Unfortunately they have picked up our less attractive traits - they are proud, spiteful, and unforgiving.

You need the will to disarm the civilian population. If we can do it in Somalia, we can do it here.

Anyone who has undergone home repair lately knows that your everyday artisan uses language so loosely and makes false promises so glibly as to make your politicians, even the presidential candidate, seem like a model of accuracy and rectitude. 'Be there Wednesday at nine,' the workman will tell you. It is a lie. He is humoring you. He says it to silence you, the way you tell a child you will take it to Disneyland if it will stop crying.

And the propensity of weak and empty people to follow a leader into the darkness from which there is no return is still flourishing, as ever.