I zoomed in on the shoe department like a blonde homing pigeon. Shoes, shoes everywhere! Ah, sweet shoes. I truly think you can take the measure of a civilization by looking at its footwear.

I'm rubber and you're glue," I told Satan, " and everything that bounces of me sticks to you.

I trudged around on the muddy river bottom for half an hour, patiently waiting to drown, before giving up and slogging my way back to shore.

It's inappropriate for the queen of the dead to be afraid of ghosts.

Can you burn me up with holy water? Poke me to death with your crucifix? Pelt me with communion wafers?

Never, EVER give up. Not ever. Not EVER. Ever EVER!

I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago." "Waitress!" Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. "Bring two!" then, more quietly,"You want a neck massage? A bedtime story? A bullet in the ear?