It was scary how much she sounded like me sometimes. Maybe that's why she totally got on my nerves

Yeah, well, it's been a super fun week. And by 'super fun' I mean 'horrible and endless'.

I'm rubber and you're glue," I told Satan, " and everything that bounces of me sticks to you.

Kissing Sinclair was like making out with a sexy timber wolf— he was licking my fangs and nipping me lightly and growling under his breath and it was...oh, it was really something.

Did vampirism encourage Stockholm syndrome?

I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago." "Waitress!" Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. "Bring two!" then, more quietly,"You want a neck massage? A bedtime story? A bullet in the ear?

Back off, boys. You don't want to mess with an out-of-work secretary. We're real testy.