MaryJanice Davidson Quotes

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You have attained maturity; display it for us, if you please.

MaryJanice Davidson

Also,I loathe it when you refer to me as dude" Eric Sinclair to Betsy

MaryJanice Davidson

Zombieland reference," Jon said, nodding. "How do you know that? That's a thousand-year-old reference!" I looked at laura. "I can't think of a single movie from a thousand years ago." "Uh...Betsy..." "Don't say it." You know how you don't know how stupid something is until you hear yourself say it? That happened to me a lot.

MaryJanice Davidson

It was scary how much she sounded like me sometimes. Maybe that's why she totally got on my nerves

MaryJanice Davidson

Iโ€”I adore you, too. Well, I don't know if I adore you. That's not really the word I'd use. But Iโ€”Iโ€”" I managed to wrench it out. God, this was hard! "I love you." "Of course you do," he said, totally unsurprised. "WHAT? I finally tell you my deepest, most personal feelings and you're all, 'Yeah, I already got that memo'? This, this is why you drive me nuts! This is why it's so hard to tell you things! I take it back.

MaryJanice Davidson

You don't scare me, Cadence Jones. I've lived with crazy, I've ridden with crazy, I've vacationed with crazy, I've visited crazy in various hospitals, I've sat in on therapy sessions with crazy. Frankly, I think women who don't have major emotional disorders are really very dull.

MaryJanice Davidson

Majesty, I beg your forgiveness for the idignity you suffered and offer you the head of our enemy asโ€”" "Put that thing down," I said impatiently. "I can't talk to you when you're shaking his head like a damned maraca.

MaryJanice Davidson

Never let your fiend off his leash unless there's lots of room to run (and no people around).

MaryJanice Davidson

I'm in a Road Runner cartoon, Sinclair. And I'm the coyote.

MaryJanice Davidson

Take your hands off her, Sinclair told the guy behind me, Or they'll write books about what I'll do to you.

MaryJanice Davidson

Interesting shade #23 Lush Golden Blonde highlights. Heyyyyyy.... The woman in the awful suit was me! The woman in the cheap shoes was me!

MaryJanice Davidson

... friends are such a mixed blessing.

MaryJanice Davidson

Can you burn me up with holy water? Poke me to death with your crucifix? Pelt me with communion wafers?

MaryJanice Davidson

You'll pay," she said stonily. "You won't be like this by this time tomorrow." "Bored and pissed off? God, I hope not.

MaryJanice Davidson

All writers are crazy. So never mind what the editors and your family and your critique group tells you. Submit your manuscripts and keep submitting until you get an offer. Then you can be crazy, with a paycheck.

MaryJanice Davidson

He snarled at me. "This isn't over yet, Betsy." "Excellent," I said. "I would also have accepted 'You haven't seen the last of me' and 'You'll regret this'.

MaryJanice Davidson

She couldn't tell where his pupils ended and the irises began; looking into those eyes was like looking into a well where children had drowned.

MaryJanice Davidson

We have souls. Sure we do. Otherwise we'd do bad things all the time. You know, like politicians.

MaryJanice Davidson

Has anyone ever told you that you lack focus?

MaryJanice Davidson

It's nice to see you again, Laura." "Thank you, Mrs. T-" "No, no, no. Please, my name is-" "Mud," I suggested. "Mud Barfbag Taylor. Call her Asshat for short." ~Laura, Antonia, Betsy

MaryJanice Davidson

I trudged around on the muddy river bottom for half an hour, patiently waiting to drown, before giving up and slogging my way back to shore.

MaryJanice Davidson

I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago." "Waitress!" Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. "Bring two!" then, more quietly,"You want a neck massage? A bedtime story? A bullet in the ear?

MaryJanice Davidson

I was so furious I was actually dizzy with it. There were so many bitchy, sarcastic observations to make, I was having a sarcasm stroke. "My God! You people! You're - you're so stupid you're making my eyeballs throb. They're throbbing, dammit!

MaryJanice Davidson

It's inappropriate for the queen of the dead to be afraid of ghosts.

MaryJanice Davidson

I've always assumed he'd be around to be, you know, yelled at and taken for granted. And of course I was wrong. Nobody's going to put up with that forever.

MaryJanice Davidson

I could have gone to medical school, I said. Except for all the math and stuff.

MaryJanice Davidson

The vampire bible, bound in human skin, written in blood, and full of prophecies that were never wrong. Trouble was, if you read the thing too long, it drove you nuts. Not "I'm having a bad day and feel bitchy" nuts or PMS nuts. "I think I'll commit felony assault on my friends and rape my boyfriend" nuts.

MaryJanice Davidson

There's more than one way for a girl to Google a cat.

MaryJanice Davidson

I'm rubber and you're glue," I told Satan, " and everything that bounces of me sticks to you.

MaryJanice Davidson

I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did.

MaryJanice Davidson

My my Laura Goodman. I must say that is a charming name for a charming young lady." "Eric's old." I broke in. "Really really old." "Erโ€” really?" Laura asked. "Gosh you don't look even out of your thirties." "Tons of face-lifts. He's a surgical addict. I'm trying to get him help." I added defensively when they both gave me strange looks.

MaryJanice Davidson

Here I am, just wandering down a deserted street in the middle of the night. I hope I don't run into any trouble. Goodness, that would just ruin my whole evening." I strolled and hummed, trying to project Innocent Victim.

MaryJanice Davidson

Never, EVER give up. Not ever. Not EVER. Ever EVER!

MaryJanice Davidson

Yeah, well, it's been a super fun week. And by 'super fun' I mean 'horrible and endless'.

MaryJanice Davidson

Back off, boys. You don't want to mess with an out-of-work secretary. We're real testy.

MaryJanice Davidson

Elizabeth Anne Taylor April 25, 1974 - April 25, 2004 Our Sweetheart, Only resting

MaryJanice Davidson

It never failedโ€”I'd buy a new journal, write like a madwoman for ten pages, then lose total interest in the process. Three months later, I'd start the whole process all over again. I think I just liked buying new notebooks.

MaryJanice Davidson

I've got a folder full of rejection slips that I keep. Know why? Because those same editors are now calling my agent hoping I'll write a book or novella for them. Things change. A rejection slip today might mean a frantic call to your agent in six months.

MaryJanice Davidson

They weren't moving. Perhaps I was dazzling then with my ineptitude. It had happened before.

MaryJanice Davidson

Why is it suddenly uncool to spell? That's all I want to know.

MaryJanice Davidson

He said my name the way diabetics talked about hot fudge sundaes.

MaryJanice Davidson

I've been stabbed before. Barely a week ago, in fact. AND I've been audited, AND I come from a broken home. In short - no offense, shorty - you don't scare me.

MaryJanice Davidson

Wow, girlfriend, you're incompatible with life! And here I thought I was just incompatible with pink.

MaryJanice Davidson

Kissing Sinclair was like making out with a sexy timber wolfโ€” he was licking my fangs and nipping me lightly and growling under his breath and it was...oh, it was really something.

MaryJanice Davidson

Fredrika Bimm, what do you think you're doing?" "Freaking out. Losing my mind. Thinking about snapping your husband's spine. Squashing the urge to vomit. Wishing I had died at childbirth." "Oh, you say that when you don't get a prize in your Lucky Charms.

MaryJanice Davidson

Did vampirism encourage Stockholm syndrome?

MaryJanice Davidson

I zoomed in on the shoe department like a blonde homing pigeon. Shoes, shoes everywhere! Ah, sweet shoes. I truly think you can take the measure of a civilization by looking at its footwear.

MaryJanice Davidson
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