Mason Cooley Quotes

I obey my own commands about as often as others do.

Many attempt to harvest what was never planted.

Wit: a whim followed by a wham.

Narcissus weeps to find that his Image does not return his love.

Pride sings and dances; humility sighs.

Beware of wallflowers. They expect to have everything done for them.

Inequality is a fact. Equality is a value.

The higher the moral tone, the more suspect the speaker.

Seeing my malevolent face in the mirror, my benevolent soul shrinks back.

Realism: the wealth of detail guarantees the truth of the tale.

When a man bores a woman, she complains. When a woman bores a man, he ignores her.

Blackmail is one of the great pastimes of family life.

The winner gives up his chance to be a good sport.

Do not wait for a reason to be happy.

Like an electric tea-kettle, pornography comes to a boil very fast.

The lonely become either thoughtful or empty.

Your need to talk does not create in me a need to listen.

Since events are not metaphors, the literal-minded have a certain advantage in dealing with them.

It is possible to interpret without observing, but not to observe without interpreting.

Few artists can afford artistic temperament.

The routines of tourism are even more monotonous than those of daily life.

Reading about ethics is about as likely to improve one's behavior as reading about sports is to make one into an athlete.

Old men feel a slightly reluctant affection for one another.

The cow's point of view deserves more literary attention.

Procrastination and impatience form a system of checks and balances.

Life is always rich, thought only occasionally so.

I seldom remember my father, but I sneeze and rub my nose the way he did. I also love my son with grief and anger, as he did.

When sages commend excess, Desire is sick.

It is hard to speak of sex without being clinical, brutal, or romantic.

Scepticism is always a back road leading to some credo or other.

Vicarious living is only slightly less impossible than vicarious eating.

My regimen is lust and avarice for exercise, gluttony and sloth for relaxation.

Fulfillment is often more trouble than it is worth.

If I could do my life over, I would try to cleanse at least my pleasures of self-pity.

Clouds of flavors and savors float around the thing-in-itself.

Perversity depends on reversal and substitution.

The nature of language may determine what most people say, but I always speak my own meaning.

Old and young disbelieve one another's truths.

Once discover comfort, and there is no turning back.

The idealist regards facts as provisional.

The ravaged face in the mirror hides the enchanting youth that is the real me.

Lust and greed are more gullible than innocence.

Whatever is spoken of acquires a certain existence.

Doubt is long-winded. Certainty is brief.

Sometimes the only way to become grounded is to hit bottom.

Reality is the name we give to our disappointments.

Literature gives us a memory of lives we did not lead.

Innocence: I am only stepping on your face because it lies in my path.