When The Simpsons came around, there really was nothing else like it on TV. It's hard to imagine, but when Fox first took the plunge with it, it was considered controversial to put animation on prime time.

Today is the first day of the rest of your short, brutish existence as a sentient creature before being snuffed out into utter nothingness for all eternity.

A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Everybody is clever, just in their own ways

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

If at first you don't succeed - give it up. It isn't worth the pain.