The conundrum that I face on a daily basis is that I have two sons who have grown up watching 'The Simpsons,' so they know exactly what buttons to push. They know how Bart irritates Homer, and they use these lines against me to tell me that I'm not funny anymore.

Homer no function beer well without.

If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.

Think beer; drink beer.

First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

You've got to embrace the future. You can whine about it, but you've got to embrace it.

I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.