Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.

I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.

I judge my life by how miserable it used to be. If I could pay my rent, I was deliriously happy. Now I'm deliriously happy all the time.

'The Simpsons' from the very beginning was based on our memories of brash '60s sitcoms - you had a main title theme that was bombastic and grabbed your attention - and when you look at TV shows of the 1970s and '80s, things got very mild and toned down and... obsequious.

When will people learn? Democracy doesn't work!" (Homer Simpson)

Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.

Science fiction and comedy are generally a pretty bumpy mix.