I used to be a real prince charming if I went on a date with a girl. But then I'd get to where I was likely to have a stroke from the stress of keeping up my act. I've since learned the key to a good date is to pay attention on her.

The key to sitcom success is miserable people. If you see a happy couple, it's just gone, like when Sam and Diane got together on Cheers.

I have never really lived with anyone in my adult years. I just read my sports ticker. And 50 Shades of Grey.

I don't need to be reminded that I was on 'Friends.' I remember - some of it, anyway.

I would like you all to give me a round of applause as I have not crashed my car in over 15 months.

I don't have a very 'masculine' taste in music. I get a lot of heat from my friends about that.

Nine times out of 10, women don't want to fix a problem, they just want to be understood. I'll never get that.