After I got my first laugh on stage, I was hooked.

The key to sitcom success is miserable people. If you see a happy couple, it's just gone, like when Sam and Diane got together on Cheers.

The thing that I'm most proud of in my life is that if a stranger came up to me and said, 'I can't stop drinking. I can't stop drinking. Can you help me?' I can say, 'Yes, I can help you.'

I was like: I'm going to ask her [Julia Roberts] out but I'm going to be very nervous about it. Then she said yes, I got even more nervous.

I have a well-documented history of trouble with intimacy.

I have never really lived with anyone in my adult years. I just read my sports ticker. And 50 Shades of Grey.

My sense of style is an old Polo shirt, jeans and, unfortunately for the longest time, white running shoes, which was not attractive. The one thing I've learned about clothes is to ask a girl.