I got sober because I was worried I was going to die next year.

Like, my house has a nice view, because, you know, I was on 'Friends.'

I used to spend a lot of time just thinking about myself, thinking that the party started when I showed up.

I was a very good tennis player in Ottawa, Canada - nationally ranked when I was, like, 13. Then I moved to Los Angeles when I was 15, and everyone in L.A. just killed me. I was pretty great in Canada. Not so much in Los Angeles.

So I'm reading a book on my new iPad, but can't the iPad read it for me? Do I have to do everything?

I never really thought of myself as a physical comedian. But when I was a kid, I used to, you know, pretend to trip over things to make girls laugh in school and stuff like that. So I kind of learned how to fall without hurting yourself.

I can tell if someone is talking to me because I'm on 'Friends' or cause they just think I'm neat. You know I don't think I've ever spent more than five or ten minutes with somebody who was ogling me because they recognized me from the show.