I need a woman to have a quirky sense of humor. There's a bunch of jokes I use, and if she doesn't get them, she's probably not for me.

So I'm reading a book on my new iPad, but can't the iPad read it for me? Do I have to do everything?

To be a comedian, you have to have some darkness behind it. I certainly draw on my past, and it helps.

I was like: I'm going to ask her [Julia Roberts] out but I'm going to be very nervous about it. Then she said yes, I got even more nervous.

I think we need to educate our doctors about addiction.

I grew up babysitting and always enjoyed it. I love family. A couple of my closest friends have kids, and I'm their godfather, and that's one of my greatest pleasures in life, just picking them up from school and hanging out with them.

I don't need to be reminded that I was on 'Friends.' I remember - some of it, anyway.